If the Super Bowl was really for football fans,
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10. Sting

"Say, Goodman really looks like your average football fan: he’s fat, whiskery and is a legitimate heart attack risk any time he’s standing upright. Those slobs will love him."

Goodman performed as part of the new Blues Brothers, an outfit that specialized in pissing on the grave of the late, beloved John Belushi. If there’s one thing those slobs don’t like, it’s Dan from Rosanne dishonoring Bluto from Animal House. But you can never accuse the halftime promoters of doing anything half way. They also got professional Belushi legacy ruiner Jim Belushi in on the performance. Not only was this one of the worst Super Bowl halftime shows,
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7,
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Super Bowl XXXIV, 2000

"Let’s really go after that Latino demographic this year. Jennifer Lopez is hot right now, but since football fans are primarily heterosexual men, they’d probably prefer to watch male pop singer Enrique Iglesias. Men seem to like that whole ‘sensitive guy in a half buttoned shirt who always seems to be standing in a wind tunnel’ thing."

Heterosexual men hate Enrique Iglesias with a ferocity that is actually visible if the weather is cold enough. Not only does he make women everywhere slip off their chairs by passing within a one mile radius of a television camera, he flaunted his power by making out with whomever the most sexually repressed men were jacking off to that month. While Snopes claims that the statistic about the Super Bowl being a second Christmas for wife beaters isn’t true, we wouldn’t be surprised if it was true for this particular one.

6. Diana Ross

Super Bowl XXX, 1996

You can look at the above picture and figure out why the New Kids were a bad match for the gridiron. What’s amazing is that the people who scheduled the damn show knew it was a bad idea, too. CBS didn’t even show the halftime show that year,
Order Buy Viagra Online Save Up To 50% Off, opting instead to air an edited down version after the broadcast. Instead they showed news about the first war in Iraq. Take a moment to let that sink in. These days, the News doesn’t even show news about the war in Iraq. It’s admirable and all,
Cheap Sale Buy Viagra Online Fast Delivery And Good Customer Services Are Guaranteed, but so are a lot of things that will get you fired so quickly you’ll leave behind a hat spinning in midair.

This marked the beginning of the, "Honestly we stopped giving a fuck" era of halftime show programming.

4,
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Super Bowl XXXV,
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"Okay, so the NKOTB performance went poorly,
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If there’s one thing a guy from Baltimore can’t stand, it’s a teenager with frosted tips and a denim vest who makes more money in one day than his entire union has in its pension fund. The show did manage some excitement: N’SYNC started the show by sprinting out of the tunnel,
Real 100% Buy Viagra Online Shop With Confidence, looking over their shoulders like they were being chased. For that brief,
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3. Gloria Estefan

"Hey, her band’s name is ‘The Miami Sound Machine,’ and that sounds like it could be the name of a legendary D Line or something. Also,
Mens Buy Viagra Online We Supply High Quality, the game’s being played in Minnesota,
Real 100% Buy Viagra Online Have Become Focus In The World, and as everyone knows, nothing evokes a Northern Hinterland in the dead of winter like Gloria Estefan."

Gloria Estefan is what you would get if the Taco Bell chihuahua impregnated Celine Dion. This halftime show was so bad that it was nearly beat in the ratings by a live episode of In Living Color. The next year the NFL spent millions of dollars to get Michael Jackson to perform, vowing to never again stake their claim on a washed up soft rock has been like Estefan.

2. Gloria Estefan, again

Super Bowl XXXIII,
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"Not Gloria Estefan, she’s the one who nearly got us beat by the fucking Wayans brothers back in ’92. And that was when she was popular . Oh, hello Michael Irvin. Try some of your crack cocaine? Well,
Authentic Buy Viagra Online Save Up To 70% Off Discount In Our Outlet Store, I don’t see how that could be a bad idea . COUGH,
2014 Cheap Buy Viagra Online Outlet Sale Womens Mens 2015, COUGH . Estefan you say? Hmmm, football fans might just go for her emotional take on romantic adult Latin pop this time around!"

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