Yeah, a lot to absorb. Let’s sum it up; guy with black hair betrayed your mentor and blondie, leaving you and your buddy Alistair as the last two Grey Wardens in the country. Luckily,
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Along the way, you’ll also have to help stop the raging civil war that that asshole Loghain started if you want help from the human kingdom. Which would be fine if Loghain didn’t keep harassing you throughout the entire game. Some of these will join your party, others will annoy you with their constant whining for help until you snap and stab them in the back of the head with a knife because DAMN IT! I DON’T WANT TO WALK ALL THE WALK A

ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE CIRCLE OF MAGI SO YOU CAN PICK UP SOME INAIN PACKAGE!

GAAGAHAGAHG! NO,
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In the end though, only a few of them will follow you around. These, as in most RPGs,
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Obviously these guys are pretty important so here they are,
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At first glance, Morrigan is your standard Bioware evil character. Massively inflated ego? Check. Irritating ability to home in on good decisions and immediately discard them as stupid? Check. Massive rack and cleavage that instantly restore male admiration of her? Double check!

As the story continues though,
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This is Leliana. And she hears voices.

Okay,
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Yet more proof that singers are dangerous and need to be destroyed.

Leliana apparently was spoken to by the Maker (Dragon Ages "God") and was told to go help you on your quest. When hearing the story, most players consider making a smart ass comment to the little priest just so they can keep the amount of crazy on their party to a maximum two people.

But then they remember the ancient Tibetan quote handed down for generations."If you can talk to it in a Bioware game, you can probably do it". So of course, you let her come along. Then you find out she’s a lesbian.

Probably for the best since she still claims to speak to God.

Sten is probably best exemplified with a metaphor of a stream flowing down the river. If you try to go against the stream,
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Confused? Yeah, so were we. But it’s really very simple; Sten will never like you.

See, Sten follows something called the Qun, which is a religion that seems to require you to be a colossal douche bag.

A Tom Cruise joke would be too easy.

Basically being nice to Sten will have him view you as a pussy, while being a dick to him will cause him to violently strangle you. When you first meet him,
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Oh Dragon Age, your characters are so deep and complex! If only there was someone we could recruit who wouldn’t constantly bitch and moan and try to kill us in a murderous rage.

This is Zevran,
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This was eight minutes after meeting him.

As mentioned above, Zevran is an assassin hired by Loghain to kill you. If you want,
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Wynne is the one that will nag you about your shoes and socks not matching and your choice to sprinkle cocaine on your oatmeal instead of good old brown sugar. And if you complain that brown sugar is boring, she’ll give you a lecture about "The good old days" until she dies. Which, luckily, seems to be right on the horizon with Wynne.

Okay Wynne, it’s your turn to go stand in front of the dragon.

See,
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